


i know you think of me when you think of her

by itenixol



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Gift Fic, Guilt, M/M, Makoto is just Sad, Not Beta Read, Title inspired by The Adults Are Talking by The Strokes, Unrequited Love, Unwanted Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23882704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itenixol/pseuds/itenixol
Summary: Deep down in the pit of Makoto’s stomach, there was a huge ball of guilt that would only grow as he continued to spend time with Kiyotaka.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, Unrequited Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Naegi Makoto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 87





	i know you think of me when you think of her

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kuzuhina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuzuhina/gifts).



> hello! i’m back on my bullshit
> 
> i’ve never written anything with unrequited love before... so i hope this isn’t Too Bad :] i hope you enjoy reading dis!

Deep down in the pit of Makoto’s stomach, there was a huge ball of guilt that would only grow as he continued to spend time with Kiyotaka.

He knew that he shouldn’t feel guilty; it wasn’t his fault that he felt this way, after all. Human emotions were complicated and they  _ sucked _ a whole lot. But, that didn’t stop him from feeling as though he were going to throw up after he spent time with the Moral Compass.

As much as Makoto didn’t want to say it was Taka’s fault for how he felt, deep down he knew it was. The only reason Makoto felt as if there were venom in his veins was because of his huge crush on Kiyotaka. 

Crushes were awful. Makoto didn’t ask to fall in love with Taka, and he couldn’t have helped it. There was just something about him that tugged at his heartstrings… though it was short-lived due to a recent discovery he’d made just weeks earlier.

It… really should have been obvious from the start. Makoto shouldn’t have hoped for it all to turn out okay, even if it  _ was  _ the thing he was always best at. 

He had found it out one day after class. He had been hanging out with Kiyotaka (their desks were right next to one another) when somebody had walked over to them and intruded on their conversation.

And Naegi didn’t mind it, of course. Back then, he wasn’t really worried about many things! It wasn’t like him to get angry at somebody interrupting something he was doing.

The person who’d walked over was Mondo Oowada. Makoto had no issue with him besides always being intimidated by the biker and his tall stature… after all, the luckster was only  _ a foot shorter  _ than him! But anyway, he’d greeted them both and stood beside them with his bag hanging over his shoulder. 

“Hey, kyoudai,” Mondo had turned to the other boy. A wide smile formed on his face. “Tomorrow afternoon, ya wanna come with me ta the shop? I’m gettin’ paid today, so I figured…” he trailed off as if it were a logical explanation.

And that’s when Makoto fit the pieces together.

His eyes were trained on Kiyotaka’s face when he noticed it. The glint in his eyes. The slowly widening grin. The rosy cheeks. The  _ lovestruck  _ expression he wore on his face like a mask.

Instantly, Makoto felt as if he were being stabbed. But he felt incredibly guilty for even feeling like that. He should be more accepting! He couldn’t control who Kiyotaka liked—

_ Liked _ … 

Kiyotaka didn’t like Makoto even though Makoto liked  _ him _ . And sure, whatever, he’d dealt with this kind of stuff before: unrequited crushes and people not liking him back,  _ whatever _ . He should be  _ fine _ with this! He always recovered quickly back in middle school, anyway… 

Maybe it was because he genuinely thought he had a chance. Maybe it was because Kiyotaka was the first boy he’d ever had a crush on. Maybe it was because he… had too much hope with him… 

“Ah, of course, kyoudai!” he heard Taka cheerfully accept. Mondo laughed and placed his hand on the taller boy’s shoulder, squeezing lightly and pulling away much too soon. 

Makoto could see he liked Kiyotaka back. He could see that the two of them were destined for each other, that they were both  _ happy _ together.  _ Happy  _ with one another.

Mondo then bid them goodbye and left the classroom, leaving the two of them in silence. Regret, guilt, jealousy and other disgusting emotions boiled up inside of him and traveled down to his hands, making them shake and grip tightly at his pants. 

It was completely fine for Taka to like somebody other than Makoto.  _ He knew this _ . Of course he did! He should be okay with it, he should be okay with it,  _ he should be okay with it _ , but he wasn’t.

And now Makoto laid in his bed, arms sprawled out at his sides as he just stared at the ceiling with frustration. His heart felt as if it had been broken in two, ripped apart into millions of pieces, and couldn’t be glued back together. 

He wasn’t new to heartbreak, but this felt worse than he’d ever experienced it to be. Weakly, he brought his hands up and covered his eyes. He was tired of feeling so bad whenever he was around Taka, and his gross emotions wouldn’t just leave him alone, and it all piled up into one big stressful mess inside of Naegi’s head.

Makoto tried to stop thinking of him and Kiyotaka together. He honestly tried to. But the unwanted image would always come back to haunt him and it stuck to the front of his brain as if trying to punish him for even thinking of it.

Emotions were complicated. Emotions were confusing and unwanted and messy and stupid and  _ ugly and gross and  _ **_they always caused him to feel like complete garbage and_ ** —

Makoto needed to rest. It had been a while since he’d gotten more than four hours of sleep.

It was funny what heartbreak could do to a person. Everybody feels heartbreak no matter the reason behind why. It wasn’t supposed to go away quickly, after all.

The ‘luckster’ pulled his covers up over himself and closed his eyes.

Behind his eyelids were countless fantasies he had imagined with Taka. He let himself indulge in such silly fantasies before drifting off into a light sleep.


End file.
